The #1 Secret to Engaging Others

The #1 Secret to Engaging Others!

Do you want to engage more customers?

Do you want to engage and make better connections with your colleagues and/or employees?

Do you want to engage more students?

Do you want a more engaging and motivated team?

(Start here to make the connection between this short video and the content of this edition)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JScQSBiPf4w&feature=player_embedded )

In his book A Whole New Mind, Daniel Pink describes two realtors looking to attract potential sellers.  One realtor sent out a post card touting the sale price of a recent home that he sold, which wasn’t much different than the price of other homes selling in the same area.  Another realtor sent out a post card to the same neighborhood, never mentioning a price, but stating:

“Florence S. and her husband bought this delightful home in 1955. They paid $20,000 in cash for it and loved the many special details like solid oak floors, large windows including many with leaded glass, oak millwork around the doors,…an Old English fireplace mantle, and a garden pond. At age 91, Florence moved to Brighton Gardens, a retirement community in Friendship Heights, and the Fernandez sisters, neighbors and old family friends, asked me to sell this jewel. …Now please take a minute to welcome Scott and Christie C. , the new residents who love the house just as much…”

(p.110)

Which realtor, do you think, had the greatest impact and significance on potential sellers?

Stories are compelling and memorable. Remember all of the stories that we heard from our parents and elders when were children. Even the exaggerated ones left an impact.  I can still remember my grandmother sharing stories about how she had to walk 50 miles to school one way, every day, while being chased by dogs, in the rain, dropping her lunch, jumping over fences, and in the midst of a tornados, while crossing rivers. Each time she told the story, there seemed to be a new trial or tribulation she had to face during that “morning walk” to school.  You remember the stories, right? Despite being larger-than life, they are and were significant and memorable.

The human brain has been predisposed prior to birth to think, make sense, and create meaning from narratives (Nelson, 2003). Moreover, kids grow up hearing stories, seeing stories, having stories read to them, and reading stories themselves. The power of exposure to story in these critical development years of the brain results in adults permanently hard-wired to think in terms of stories (Haven, 2007).

Pink (2005) points out that companies such as 3M, NASA, and Xerox provides its top executives with training in storytelling. Senior officials at World Bank found that when trying to get staff excited about change, storytelling was the only thing that worked to persuade preferred action. Even in the field of medicine, storytelling is starting to play a significant role in dealing with patient health. Columbia University Medical School, Penn State, and University of New Mexico are requiring students to learn how to listen and repeat the narratives of patients. The Journal of American Medical Association (2001) reported that, “A scientifically competent medicine alone cannot help a patient grapple with the loss of health or find meaning in suffering. …physicians need the ability to listen to the narratives of the patient, grasp and honor their meanings, and be moved to act on the patient’s behalf.”

Research has shown, that teachers who use storytelling in their curriculum and instruction have more engaged students, resulting in higher student performance and extended remembrance of content (Craig, 2001).

Stories are the key for individuals and organizations to differentiate their goods and services in a crowded marketplace. Being able to provide information through story form is vitally important. Stories connect with receivers and are far more memorable than any other method of communication. Stories more readily grab and maintain the attention of listeners/readers. Stories are recalled better and longer than information delivered in any other way. Using stories enhances memory and facilitates information recall (Haven, 2007).  

Stories, when used effectively, can be one of the most powerful sales tools in your tool box. The vast majority of people make purchasing decisions based on emotions and later, back their decisions based upon data. Whether you are selling a product, a service, or an idea, speaking to a prospect's emotions through stories will increase your connection to them and ultimately increase sales.

After all, it is the storyline that makes great movies and music.

An ancient saying goes, “You can never hate someone once you know their story.” When we don’t know the story of another, our brain fills in the gap by making up its own story.

If you want to engage others, your ability to share stories will be key.

Tips for increasing your ability to share stories:

1.     Become mindful of your attention level as others began to share stories with you.

2.     Begin incorporating short stories in conversations with friends and families. Kids hate this- but share those great, childhood stories regardless. I usually get the, “Dad, here you go again…” comment or look when I tell my stories to my kids. Keep sharing the stories because they will become reference points for kids later on in life.

3.     Begin to insert 1 to 2 relevant and compelling stories when trying to influence or persuade groups/students in the work place.

4.     Continually be on the hunt and collect in memory and on paper great stories. 

What stories are you sharing in your organization and at home? Let me know!

Check this out:

Do you want some motivation? See my new video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RJUwCSkxPU&feature=youtu.be

You don’t want to miss it! Spots for the “Secrets to Motivating Students/Youth workshop are filling up fast- be sure to reserve your spot and register today (click here http://www.tawatson.com/news.php ).

Finally, I would like to send my condolences to all of those around the nation who were impacted by the recent shooting in my home state of Colorado. You are in my prayers.

Secrets to Bouncing Back from Failure

Secrets to Bouncing Back from Failure: Converting Failure Into Success

Welcome to America’s Home for Inspiration

One of the most common causes of failure is the behavior of quitting when one is hit with temporary defeat.  In fact Thomas Edison declared that, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

After growing Apple to a 2 billion dollar business with 4000 employees, Steve Jobs was fired from the same company that he started. In his speech in 2005 to the graduating class at Stanford University he shared, “We had just released our finest creation-the Macintosh- a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. . I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”

Steve Jobs went on to tell how getting fired from Apple allowed him to rekindle his creative energy. His newly created company Pixar would go on to create the most successful animated movie in the world, Toy Story.  Apple would later purchase his other company NeXT. The technology he developed with NeXT would become the launching pad for Apple’s current success. ”I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith.”

After being fired my job, I can certainly relate to the disappointment that Jobs felt. However, I knew that I could not give up or quit.

So, what are the secrets that kept Steve Jobs and many others who have experienced failure to keep going?

1.     Faith-Is complete trust and confidence in something or someone (Webster).  Research has shown that a person comes to believe whatever they repeat over and over to one’s self, whether the statement is true or false. Faith is the head chemist of the mind. “Faith is the element, the ‘chemical’ which, when mixed with prayer, gives one direct communication with Infinite Intelligence.” Napoleon Hill . Hill goes on to share a poem about our thinking in his book, Think and Grow Rich:

If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you like to win, but you think you can’t,

It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.

For out in the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will-

It’s all in the state of mind

If you think you are outclassed, you are,

You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster,

But sooner or later the man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can!

In fact research shows that patients who felt they would get better and spoke of the outcome, healed faster than those who did not (McAdams, 2005).

2.     Desire- A strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen (Webster). Desire has been characterized as the starting point to any achievement. Jim Collins in his bestseller, Good to Great points out that there is no Plan B for success. “You see the boats going up in smoke. That means that we cannot leave these shores alive unless we win! We now have no choice –we win or we perish!” were the words of a great warrior who had just sailed into enemy country with his troops that were out numbered.

            Every person who yearns to succeed at something must be willing to burn their ship and cut off sources for retreat. In doing this, one maintains a state of mind known as a burning desire to succeed. I can remember resigning from a couple of jobs with nothing in place, as a strategy to get myself going after the next position that I really wanted. Staying put in a place of contentment was not an option giving the fact that the bridge behind me was now burning. There was no going back.    

3.     Persistence- Firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition (Webster). A lack of persistence is one of the top reasons for failure. One must be persistent no matter how slow at first because in doing so one will accomplish their desires. Barriers that get in the way of persistence: procrastination, indecision, blaming others, quitting at first sign of challenge, and fear of what others will think if one experiences temporary failure.

Remember, failure turns to defeat only when you give up. Don’t be give up, keep fighting for your dreams, desires, and passion.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

Thomas Edison

Do you agree or disagree with these three strategies? Let me know what strategies you have used in bouncing back from failure.

Freedom From or Freedom To: What's Your Motivation?

“Freedom From” or “Freedom To”: What’s Your Motivation?

The Millionaire Client:

“I’m very upset. My life is really going down the tubes. I’ve been a millionaire four times. “ At first glance one may ask the question, “how can you be a millionaire 4 times and have your life headed down the tubes?” However, as we ponder deeper, the notion that this individual has been a millionaire four times implies that he lost his status as millionaire three other times. Upon further investigation of the motivation of the individual it was discovered that he possessed a “Freedom From” perspective on motivation. His sole motivation to become a millionaire was based upon his drive NOT to live in poverty. Therefore, each time he reached millionaire status and poverty was no longer and issue he was no longer motivated or driven to succeed. His work ethic became relaxed and he began to procrastinate causing him to eventually loose all of his riches each time.  

(Charvet, Words That Change Minds, P. 38)

“Freedom From” or “Freedom To”: What’s Your Motivation?

Well let’s look closer at the difference between the two.  As was the case with our millionaire, Freedom From motivation focuses on AWAY From patterns.  The motivation is triggered when there is a problem to avoid or something to move or stay away from. Often times this motivation is fueled by threats or assumptions of the worse possible scenarios. “If I don’t come to work and do everything correct, I may get fired.” Conversations for people with this motivation tend to focus on what to avoid, eliminate, get rid of, or prevent. (Charvet,1995)

Freedom To motivation focuses on Toward patterns. The motivation here is triggered by goals to be accomplished. Furthermore, this motivation is energized by achievement and attainment. Often times this motivation is fueled by opportunity. “I will save the lives of millions if I come up the cure for this disease.” The conversations for people with this motivation tend to focus on what they can gain, achieve, get, accomplish, have, and goals to be met.

In life people are either moving away from a problem or toward a goal as fuel for their motivation. 

I can remember growing up in Denver, Colorado living in nearly 25 different locations and being homeless as a senior in high school. My motivation to get to the NFL had everything to do with not wanting to end up at that level of poverty ever again. However, on my journey I discovered that I enjoyed motivating, leading, life coaching and making a difference in the lives of others. This discovery eventually moved me away from “Freedom From” to “Freedom To” motivation in life.

The motivation that we receive from focusing on what is before us in our front windshield (Freedom To-toward) is longer lasting then the motivation that we receive when we are focused on the things in our rearview mirror that we are running from and cannot control (Freedom From-away).

“When you change the way that you look at things, the things that you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

Here are some suggestions for making the shift from” Freedom From” motivation to “Freedom To” motivation.

·      Stay motivated to approach inevitable changes with excitement and anticipation rather than intimidation and fear.

·      Learn that the motivation in life is not to maintain predictable levels of accomplishments but to open the door to higher levels of success than you ever thought possible. 

·      Strive to leave mediocrity behind and move toward the great things in this world that only you have been called here to do.

“You can’t sail to new lands unless you are willing to loose sight of the shore.” Author Unknown

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Please be sure to check out and register for our new workshop:

Secrets to Motivating Students/Youth  http://www.tawatson.com/news.php

(Spots are filling up fast and seating is limited)

(Stay tuned as the workshop will be coming to a city near you this fall)

Also, check out our new video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE-5WePwVs8  

Quotes of the Month

In response to my Commencement Speech: “Staying Motivated Beyond Graduation” at Concordia College of Business and Education & TreeHouse (student): Expect Great Things!

“Dr. Inspiration you lived up to your name on Saturday. Your message was very timely, meaningful and inspiring!”

“The most impactful thing about your speech was the motivation you started in me to make my life into something despite what it is now.”

Sincerely,

Dr. Inspiration

If You Can Believe It, You Can Be It!

At-Risk or At-Resilient- Which one are you?

At-Risk or At-Resilient: Which One Will You Be In 2012?   What do the terms at-risk and at-resilient (a term coined by Tommy A. Watson) actually mean? I am glad that you asked:   At-Risk: describes an individual or groupexpected to surrender (give in) to adverse situations At-Resilient: describes an individual or groupexpected to adapt (overcome) successfully to adverse situations   Resilience, it is the key skill for surviving and thriving in the multitude of changes and challenges that we are all facing. I would like to share with you my story of resilience and offer some tips on what individuals can do to become more resilient in 2012 and beyond. I arrived in Minnesota to play Big Ten football for the University of Minnesota after living in nearly 25 different locations during my childhood. My parents were heroin addicts and professional shoplifters. As a result of their behaviors, I lived in 3 different foster homes, 3 different motel rooms, 3 different crisis centers, lived with my grandmother 3 times, my parents had gone to prison 3 times, and attended numerous schools, all by the time I was in 3rd grade. As a 3rd grader, I found myself angry, yearning to join and lead the local gang, and living with my aunt. By the time I was in 7th grade, my family and I got evicted from our home in front of the neighbor and my friends, who sat on their porches laughing as the local sheriffs tossed everything we owned into the front yard of the house, including myself and my siblings. From there, we (9 of us) moved back into a 10 X 16 motel room- where we would remain for the next year. As my senior year of high school rolled around, I found myself homeless and sleeping on the floor of a family friend, while being recruited as one of the top high school football players in the state of Colorado. Fast forward a year to my arrival to the University of MN, both my mom and dad were in prison, my younger brother was in prison, my grandmother (last legal guardian) was in a nursing home, my oldest sister was on the streets of Denver addicted to crack cocaine, my oldest brother was on the streets of Denver involved heavily in gangs, my second oldest sister was in foster care in Iowa, and my youngest sister was living with my aunt. Between my junior and senior year of high school, I lived in five different locations. Many people ask me how I made it through these many adverse situations and difficult times. Well, when I was in 8th grade and living in the motel room something amazing happened to me. My future high school coach came along and gave me HOPE. He told me that if I followed the same path of success as other successful people that my life would change. He was right! Success principles are timeless, transferable, and universal.  Remember, resilience does not exist without HOPE. HOPE inspires RESILIENCE.  Today, I am an award winning author, renowned speaker, beloved former school principal, and CEO/Founder of T. A. Watson Speaking Coaching & Consulting. I have earned a Bachelor’s Degree, aMaster’s Degree, an Advanced Graduate Degree, and I am currently completing my Doctor of Education in Leadership. Resilience pays off! So how does a person endure all of this and come out standing? I am glad that you asked. Here are some tips to enduring challenging times:   Build Positive Beliefs in Your Abilities Find a Sense of Purpose in Your Life Develop a Strong Social Network Embrace Change Be Optimistic Nurture Yourself Develop Your Problem-Solving Skills Establish Goals   Ancient scripture says, that as a man [or woman] thinks so than is he.   At-Risk or At-Resilient: Which one will YOU make the CHOICE to be in 2012?   Sincerely, Dr. Inspiration Tommy A. Watson, Ed. D. (candidate), is and author (A Face of Courage- The Tommy Watson Story) and motivational speaker. For more information you can visit:www.tawatson.com .