Often you
cannot do anything about circumstances, such as the loss of a job or the end of
a relationship. It can knock us off balance, but it is how you react that
really determines how long you stay down. You always have a choice. And you can
choose to see the positive side to everything.
Additional
tips for “Can Do” Confidence:
Look the part. Or, as the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it."
If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you'll
start to feel it, too. You should dress how you feel best -- not what you think
confident is. Try these tricks: Devote a little time each day to personal
hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush
and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair. Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a
whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean,
comfortable, and feel good, you're set up for confidence. After all, you
wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look
good, odds are you probably do. Be careful that you don't overdo it (e.g.
putting on tons of make up or wearing too revealing clothes). Dressing
appropriately for situations gives you one less thing to worry about.
Smile. Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the
smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel
more comfortable. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No thank
you. If you're worried your smile is
fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other
hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to
practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly whites!
Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. Take a piece of paper
and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming
confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask
yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my
part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively.
How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth?
It doesn't! Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math
test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But
ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and
prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event
and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reason not to
be confident.
See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement. Having confidence
isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward —
there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a
deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and
resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your
duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything. Odds are you
won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day
you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So
if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too
close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing.
You get it.
Get out of your head. A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world,
so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner
dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it.
The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it? So much
of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that
reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like
takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the
future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something
exciting about it.
Embrace your interests. If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at,
now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are
talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or
a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start building projects
— whatever it is that catches your interest. Don't get discouraged if you're
not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it
for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best
ever. Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who
share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence.
Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow
hobbyists.
Accept compliments gracefully. Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it
off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank
you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you
doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure
sense of self-worth. Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable
taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help
you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful.
Build your confidence by helping others. Take time to pay
someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten
their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for
positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes. Lots
of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone
one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might
respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was
it made in China?" might not get the best response.
Drop those who bring you down. It's hard to be confident in a group of
people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the
most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn
into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to
be dropped like a bad habit. And now. It's important that you surround yourself
with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you
there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to
make the growth you want to (and can!) make.
Take risks. Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at
life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be
awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done,
you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow. Failure
is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that
matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences set backs, but not
everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and
you've got to fail in the first place to do so.
(Source: www.wikiHow.com/be-confident)
Be sure to tune in this spring as we engage in other
creative opportunities to inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss
it!
Dr. Christian Snyder, author of The Psychology of Hope,
breaks down the three mental components of hope are goals, willpower, and
waypower.
He states that goals are objects, experiences, and
outcomes that we imagine and desire.
“Willpower is the driving force in hopeful thinking.” It
is the determination and commitment one has to get an individual from point A
to point B.
Lastly, waypower is the strategy, the road map that
guides hopeful thought. “Waypower is a mental capacity we can call on to find
one or more effective ways to reach our goals.”
Simply put: Hope = Mental Willpower + Waypower for Goals
None of these would work without the other which explains
why people get stuck in the achieving process, and experience hopelessness.
What do you do when your hope is weaning? Increase it with willpower and waypower! The
willpower to think about possible solutions to your problems, and
the "waypower," which
means picking a path or action to reach one of those solutions.
Tips for keeping hope to thrive:
Faith and belief in a better
future.No matter what we go through keeping hope that our future
will be bright allows us to persist and persevere. When we keep faithful and
optimistic it allows us to stay motivated and driven to finish what we started.
When unexpected tragedy occurs we must acknowledge that stress and grief does
not last forever.
Appreciating what you have.
Even when life feels out of control and we
can’t imagine ever reaching our goals there is much to be grateful for. There
is always someone in a worse circumstance that is willing to live with joy and
grace. Be willing to acknowledge what you do have and what you appreciate about
yourself, relationships, and community.
Discovering the hidden side
of self and new frontiers of life. Some of the most profound self-knowledge comes from the most
difficult moments. When we are confronted with the reality of who we are and
how we are living it broadens the horizon for how life can be and what is most
important. We learn what we are truly capable of, and the inner strength we
possess during arduous times.
Commitment to growth. Every experience is a learning opportunity. No matter how
difficult or painful a situation may be, we are able to use the experience to
expand and grow our awareness and understanding. This commitment is how we
become a stronger, wiser, and more gracious person. Allow pain to mold and
shape your character honorably.
Be sure to tune in this spring as we engage in other
creative opportunities to inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss
it!
According to a Gallup study 70% of U.S. workers are disengaged in job or
careers that mean little to them. Do you know the difference between:
· a job, · career, · and a vocation?
A job allows for a set amount of pay for a specific amount of time. Jobs are
the easiest to find; they are the least stressful and they provide an adequate
allowance of extracurricular time to discover your passion. A career is a long
term and consistent job. Ideally, your career is one that you choose.
We are all familiar with the concepts of “job” and “career,” but “vocation” is
a much misunderstood term. The word comes from the Latin vocare, or voice –
meaning to follow the voice of God, or to do what we are called to do. A
vocation is a calling that merges our mission in life with God’s mission on
earth. As Frederick Buechner puts it in a well-known passage from Wishful
Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC, “The place God calls you is the place where your deep
gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” That intersecting point is your
calling, your vocation. Your calling is your passion project, something you
genuinely care about and of which you will never grow tired. When you are
consumed with your calling, time and money do not apply. So the many hours that
you “work” on creating money to pay for your lifestyle will not suck. Because
this is your happiness.
Strategies for capturing your calling:
1. Find Your Desire and Your Passion:
What is it that gets you fired up?
2. Identify
Your Skills and Abilities: You have been given certain talents and skills that
come naturally.
3. Know Your Personality Tendencies: How do you relate to other people? In what
kind of environments are you most comfortable? Are you analytic, logical and
detailed or expressive and visionary?
4. Awareness of Your Values, Dreams, and Passions: What do you enjoy doing? If
money were not an issue, how would you spend your time? What things do you keep
gravitating to? What activities/ideas did you enjoy doing as a child but were
told not to do them?
Be sure to tune in this spring as we engage in other creative opportunities to
inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss it!
