. Be genuine. The only connections that work will be
the ones that you truly care about; the world will see through anything short
of that. If you don’t have a genuine interest in the person with whom you’re
trying to connect, then stop trying.
. Provide massive help. Even the biggest and most powerful
people in the world have something they’d like help with. Too many people never
reach out to those above them due to the fear that they wouldn’t be able to
offer anything in return. But you have more to offer than you realize: write an
article or blog post about them, share their project with your community, offer
to spread their message through a video interview with them. Give real thought
to who you could connect them with to benefit their goals.
. Pay ridiculous attention. It’s nearly impossible to genuinely
offer help if you don’t pay attention. Do your research by reading blog posts,
books and articles about the connection beforehand. Learn about their
backgrounds and passions. Invest genuine time in learning what really matters
to them and how you can help.
. Connect with people close to them. Most job openings are filled through
networking and referrals, and making connections is no different. You
automatically arrive with credibility when referred to someone you want to meet
by a mutual friend. Spend more time connecting with your current network of
friends and colleagues and see where it leads.
. Persistence wins most battles. The first attempt is just the very
beginning. Realize that the first try may get you nowhere, but the fifth
or the tenth tries are the ones that start to yield results. An unreturned
email or voicemail doesn’t mean they don’t want to connect with you. It’s your
job to be persistent!
. Make real friends. Think about how you’ve made the
friends you have. That’s all this is. You only make friends with people
you genuinely want in your life.
.Remain
unforgettable. Send
birthday cards. Mail your favorite book with a signed personal note from you on
the inside flap. Send them your family Christmas card. Be genuinely helpful.
Success
doesn't necessarily come from breakthrough innovation but from flawless
execution. A great strategy alone won't win a game or a battle; the win comes
from basic blocking and tackling.
Most people, don't know what
they want to do with their life, and even after thinking hard, they don't come
up with something they really want to do. This is one of the main reasons that
in spite of so many books on success, most people live an average life.
2) Draw up a plan of action
Devote as much time as you need to find a goal or goals,
even minor goals are okay. Not everyone really desires great success and is
willing to completely change his/her life. Not everyone desires to be a
millionaire, or possesses the talent to make money.
After
finding a goal that you really desire to achieve, draw up a plan, being as
practical as possible.
3) Make a list of steps
List the steps you need to take, such as signing up for a
course, studying, reading, developing the required skills, looking for a job,
etc, and other steps you need to implement that will take you closer to
achieving your goal.
4) Act, do not be passive
Take action and follow the steps on your list. Don't just
wait for things to happen.
5) Read and listen to advice
Read books or articles about what you want to achieve.
Meet people who can help you and listen to their advice, but use your common
sense and reason before accepting anything.
6) Alternative plans
If a certain plan doesn't work, look for an alternative
one.
7) Examine your goals periodically
Some goals aren't worth
achieving. Circumstances and people change. Some goals lose their importance.
It is a good idea to re-examine your goals regularly and weed out the worthless
ones.
8) Repeat affirmations
Affirm with faith and feelings that your goal has already
been achieved. If you don't undo your affirmations with doubts and lack of
belief, they will be accepted by your subconscious mind, which will then
provide you with more desire and motivation.
9) Visualize your goal
Visualization will also affect your subconscious mind,
which will keep you motivated, focused on your goal, and more aware of ideas
and opportunities.
10)
Take action
Don't
just affirm and visualize and do nothing. Take any action required to bring
your goal into fruition. Follow your intuition, new ideas and opportunities
that present themselves, and accept help from other people.
Often you
cannot do anything about circumstances, such as the loss of a job or the end of
a relationship. It can knock us off balance, but it is how you react that
really determines how long you stay down. You always have a choice. And you can
choose to see the positive side to everything.
Additional
tips for “Can Do” Confidence:
Look the part. Or, as the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it."
If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you'll
start to feel it, too. You should dress how you feel best -- not what you think
confident is. Try these tricks: Devote a little time each day to personal
hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush
and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair. Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a
whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean,
comfortable, and feel good, you're set up for confidence. After all, you
wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look
good, odds are you probably do. Be careful that you don't overdo it (e.g.
putting on tons of make up or wearing too revealing clothes). Dressing
appropriately for situations gives you one less thing to worry about.
Smile. Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the
smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel
more comfortable. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No thank
you. If you're worried your smile is
fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other
hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to
practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly whites!
Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. Take a piece of paper
and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming
confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask
yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my
part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively.
How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth?
It doesn't! Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math
test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But
ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and
prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event
and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reason not to
be confident.
See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement. Having confidence
isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward —
there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a
deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and
resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your
duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything. Odds are you
won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day
you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So
if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too
close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing.
You get it.
Get out of your head. A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world,
so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner
dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it.
The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it? So much
of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that
reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like
takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the
future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something
exciting about it.
Embrace your interests. If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at,
now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are
talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or
a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start building projects
— whatever it is that catches your interest. Don't get discouraged if you're
not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it
for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best
ever. Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who
share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence.
Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow
hobbyists.
Accept compliments gracefully. Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it
off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank
you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you
doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure
sense of self-worth. Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable
taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help
you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful.
Build your confidence by helping others. Take time to pay
someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten
their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for
positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes. Lots
of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone
one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might
respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was
it made in China?" might not get the best response.
Drop those who bring you down. It's hard to be confident in a group of
people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the
most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn
into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to
be dropped like a bad habit. And now. It's important that you surround yourself
with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you
there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to
make the growth you want to (and can!) make.
Take risks. Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at
life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be
awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done,
you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow. Failure
is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that
matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences set backs, but not
everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and
you've got to fail in the first place to do so.
(Source: www.wikiHow.com/be-confident)
Be sure to tune in this spring as we engage in other
creative opportunities to inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss
it!
Dr. Christian Snyder, author of The Psychology of Hope,
breaks down the three mental components of hope are goals, willpower, and
waypower.
He states that goals are objects, experiences, and
outcomes that we imagine and desire.
“Willpower is the driving force in hopeful thinking.” It
is the determination and commitment one has to get an individual from point A
to point B.
Lastly, waypower is the strategy, the road map that
guides hopeful thought. “Waypower is a mental capacity we can call on to find
one or more effective ways to reach our goals.”
Simply put: Hope = Mental Willpower + Waypower for Goals
None of these would work without the other which explains
why people get stuck in the achieving process, and experience hopelessness.
What do you do when your hope is weaning? Increase it with willpower and waypower! The
willpower to think about possible solutions to your problems, and
the "waypower," which
means picking a path or action to reach one of those solutions.
Tips for keeping hope to thrive:
Faith and belief in a better
future.No matter what we go through keeping hope that our future
will be bright allows us to persist and persevere. When we keep faithful and
optimistic it allows us to stay motivated and driven to finish what we started.
When unexpected tragedy occurs we must acknowledge that stress and grief does
not last forever.
Appreciating what you have.
Even when life feels out of control and we
can’t imagine ever reaching our goals there is much to be grateful for. There
is always someone in a worse circumstance that is willing to live with joy and
grace. Be willing to acknowledge what you do have and what you appreciate about
yourself, relationships, and community.
Discovering the hidden side
of self and new frontiers of life. Some of the most profound self-knowledge comes from the most
difficult moments. When we are confronted with the reality of who we are and
how we are living it broadens the horizon for how life can be and what is most
important. We learn what we are truly capable of, and the inner strength we
possess during arduous times.
Commitment to growth. Every experience is a learning opportunity. No matter how
difficult or painful a situation may be, we are able to use the experience to
expand and grow our awareness and understanding. This commitment is how we
become a stronger, wiser, and more gracious person. Allow pain to mold and
shape your character honorably.
Be sure to tune in this spring as we engage in other
creative opportunities to inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss
it!
According to a Gallup study 70% of U.S. workers are disengaged in job or
careers that mean little to them. Do you know the difference between:
· a job, · career, · and a vocation?
A job allows for a set amount of pay for a specific amount of time. Jobs are
the easiest to find; they are the least stressful and they provide an adequate
allowance of extracurricular time to discover your passion. A career is a long
term and consistent job. Ideally, your career is one that you choose.
We are all familiar with the concepts of “job” and “career,” but “vocation” is
a much misunderstood term. The word comes from the Latin vocare, or voice –
meaning to follow the voice of God, or to do what we are called to do. A
vocation is a calling that merges our mission in life with God’s mission on
earth. As Frederick Buechner puts it in a well-known passage from Wishful
Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC, “The place God calls you is the place where your deep
gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” That intersecting point is your
calling, your vocation. Your calling is your passion project, something you
genuinely care about and of which you will never grow tired. When you are
consumed with your calling, time and money do not apply. So the many hours that
you “work” on creating money to pay for your lifestyle will not suck. Because
this is your happiness.
Strategies for capturing your calling:
1. Find Your Desire and Your Passion:
What is it that gets you fired up?
2. Identify
Your Skills and Abilities: You have been given certain talents and skills that
come naturally.
3. Know Your Personality Tendencies: How do you relate to other people? In what
kind of environments are you most comfortable? Are you analytic, logical and
detailed or expressive and visionary?
4. Awareness of Your Values, Dreams, and Passions: What do you enjoy doing? If
money were not an issue, how would you spend your time? What things do you keep
gravitating to? What activities/ideas did you enjoy doing as a child but were
told not to do them?
Be sure to tune in this spring as we engage in other creative opportunities to
inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss it!
When we take
the time to reflect and celebrate, we now position ourselves for the next phase
of the journey. It’s what national championship coach, Nik Sabin, calls the 24
hour rule - his players have 24 hours to reflect back and bask in the glory of
a win or the agony of defeat. After 24 hours the team has become focused on the
next goal at hand trying to get another victory.
So here are
a couple of tips on reflecting forward:
1. Get into the right
state and environment
To be effective with self-reflection it is good to get into a
suitable mental state and
environment. First it is helpful to have all of our attention at the process,
so don’t be distracted by maybe having the TV turned on, etc. It is best if you
don’t have anything else on your mind. You don’t want to get interrupted
either.
2. Ask the right
questions
I usually start by asking myself the question that is on my
mind, the question that expresses an inner conflict. It is something that has a
continuing influence on me, where I am not satisfied with and want to change.
By asking a good question
you give your brain something to work on. It will try to find a good
explanation to it, starting the process of self-reflection. So it is crucial to
ask the right question here, the one that expresses your topic. Good questions
are always the ones that bring your topic to the point by asking “How can I …”.
Usually questions starting with “Why …” are not very effective. By asking “why”
questions, you will get answers why it is that way. But you want to improve
here, that’s why a “how” question is more solution-oriented and therefore
usually much more empowering.
12 QUESTIONS FOR THE YEAR PAST AND THE YEAR AHEAD
The Year Past:
1) What went
well? Identify the goals you
accomplished or advanced towards; and note anything else that went well and is
worth highlighting.
2) In what ways
did you grow and evolve in the ‘evolution of you’? How were you tested or challenged and how did you grow as a
result? What new skills, knowledge, ideas and insights (life, work, other) have
made you better or different from the beginning of the year?
3) What were
your favorite moments of 2012? Savoring positive experiences has been proven to be a success
strategy for building optimism, resilience and mojo – all essential ingredients
to personal and professional wellbeing!
4) What do you need to
clean-out or let go of right now from the year past to be ready to start fresh
in 2013? Consider
both your physical space (your office, your home) as well as your emotional and
mental mindsets.
5) What and who are
you most grateful for right now? Consider the people in your life; the circumstances; the gifts;
make this a juicy list!
6) If there was
a theme for 2012 for you personally, what would it be? i.e. “This was the year
of ____.”
The Year
Ahead:
7) What
are your goals for 2013? Consider professional goals as well as personal goals. Consider
small, medium and BHAG goals (big hair audacious goals).
8) What of
your strengths and assets will you deliberately use more of in the year ahead
to realize your goals? Consider your personal strengths but also your assets such as
your network, knowledge, experience and more. Make a plan.
9) In what ways
will you take care of your personal wellbeing to maintain or boost your “Mojo”
– resilience, energy, inspiration and sense of wellbeing? Take time to reflect on your physical
wellbeing as well as your mental and emotional wellbeing. If you were at your
peak – what would that look like? What needs to happen to bridge the gap from
where you are today to where you want to be? Make a plan. 10) In what
ways will you take care of your professional wellbeing to boost or maintain
your work-life aspirations and career mojo?
What new skills will
you acquire or deepen? How will you foster/grow your network? What new
challenges will you take on? And what support might you call on to help you
achieve your professional goals?
11) In what
ways will you contribute something to the ‘greater good’ of _____
(choose a community or communities of choice)?
12) If the
year ahead is to have a personal theme for you, what would that be? i.e.
“This will be the year of ____”
I
want to close this post by a quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe who said:
“Never by reflection, but only by doing is self-knowledge possible to one.”
While this first seems like a contradiction to the process of self-reflection,
it is not. The reason to do self-reflection is to be more effective in the
doing.
As
you strive for a better year next year- remember: believe and succeed or doubt
and do without!
Be sure to
tune in next year as we will be engaged in other creative opportunities to
inspire and empower others - you don’t want to miss it!
